Twenty-Five Times I Felt Something.

My photographs are primarily inspired by my childhood, whether that be specific memories or overarching themes/feelings. I make as a way to process the past, it is a compulsion to remember and have a record of everything. Much of my work explores ways of documenting that which has already happened. With each passing year, I am able to better connect the dots of my life, events of my past that directly link to who I am today. That being said, there are still plenty of occurrences from the last twenty-two years that have impacted me in ways I have yet to understand. Here’s twenty-five. Twenty-five times I felt something out of the usual, that I experienced something that probably shaped me in some significant way. I am not sure what they mean or how they fit together, but here they are, sitting patiently, waiting for me to figure them out.

25 Times I Felt Something:

  1. My great-grandmother died and I had to sit in the back at her funeral. Not happy about this, I came home and held a pretend funeral (to which I had a front row seat).
  2. Our neighbor regularly brought me baby chipmunks, rabbits and squirrels to play with before drowning them in a barrel behind his garage.
  3. This same neighbor also regularly fed me hunks of watermelon off of a rusty butcher’s knife.
  4. My grandmother didn’t have toys but she had a lot of porcelain Virgin Marys that she let me play with.
  5. I refused to wear clothes until I was four when my mother said ‘Little girls have to wear shirts to go to preschool’.
  6. When I was five, and the acres of tires near my house caught on fire, I made my parents film me as a newscaster, wearing nothing but a swimsuit, while black clouds of smoke billowed violently behind my head.
  7. When no one taught me to read on my first day of kindergarten, I was pissed.
  8. The first time I met the girl who lived across the street, she locked me in her closet.
  9. My dad worked in a toilet factory for the first decade of my existence.
  10. The most popular fifth grader at Sycamore Elementary School told me I was funny.
  11. Growing up, my mother’s motto was ‘no dinky’ which essentially meant ‘they don’t think you can do it because you don’t have a penis’.
  12. All I wore in junior high were mini skirts, tight fitting tees and pink eye shadow.
  13. My dad let me taste his beer and I swore that it instantaneously gave me a brain splitting headache that kept me sober (with one accidental exception) until the age of nineteen.
  14. In my not so angsty preteen years, I took somebodies paddleboat for a joyride around the community pond.
  15. My first kiss was with a boy who wore way too much strawberry lip balm.
  16. I have lied during every game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ that I have ever played.
  17. God sent a tornado to our campsite the evening of the day that I first broke a boy’s heart.
  18. Winter, junior year of high school, I broke my ankle and wore sweatpants everyday for two months straight.
  19. A strange premonition caused me to get in my car, drive to my grandparents and give my grandfather a hug. I was wearing a blue sequined jumpsuit. It was the last time I saw him alive.
  20. My cat died, I got bedbugs and I dropped my phone in the toilet all during the same week.
  21. For two straight weeks I ate nothing but tomatoes.
  22. I experienced my first alcohol induced vomit on Mother’s Day 2015 and stayed home with my head by the toilet while my mom went to church alone.
  23. Both of my roommates got engaged on the same weekend, four months later I got a new cat.
  24. I somewhat unintentionally trespassed on what I now believe was the property of some sort of cult and a man with a trach pulled a gun on me.
  25. A man in the car in front of me at a Taco Bell drive through stuck his entire upper body out of the window to wave a stack of hundred dollar bills in my face.

Here’s to another year of successes, failures, social awkwardness and uncomfortable situations.

Also, I felt is was important to share some additional info for #6. In August of 1999 Kirby Tire was set ablaze by arsonists. 7 million tires burned over the course of 5 days and smoke could be seen in Columbus, over 70 miles away. My childhood home was 6.3 miles away from the flames.

Unfortunately I couldn’t get my hands on my newscast, but if I ever do, you all will be the first to know. I specifically remember using the term ‘rubbing together’ a lot..


2 Replies to “Twenty-Five Times I Felt Something.”

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